I admit it, I have been obsessing a bit about Katie, next door, over the last week. I don't see her very often, maybe once or twice a week to say hi when we pick up mail or maybe come home from work about the same time. But I think of her every night, laying in my bed, knowing she's on the other side of the wall, just there.
Of course, my cock gets hard whenever that happens, and I end up relieving the sexual tension then I can sleep better. Still, I know she is out of my league so I content myself with a little fantasy.
I've done one of the weirdest things recently-- well, I guess it isn't that weird. Lots of guys do it. I've been edging, bringing myself close to orgasm and then easing off. I imagine Katie doing it to me with her hands (for some reason I can't think of edging being inside her).
One of the things that I did recently while edging is, I mistimed the edging, ended up starting to cum and stopped stroking myself while the semen had just started to spurt. Of course, my orgasm tried to continue but I had stopped and I just sort of dribbled. A perfect ruined orgasm. I tried to get it back, return to jerking off, but it was too late. My cock was sensitive and not going to cooperate at all.
The next day the idea of Katie edging me then ruining my orgasm came to my mind. What a fucking cruel thing, but for some reason the moment I thought of it I got rock hard. It was just so arousing, and so I edged, thinking about Katie stroking me. I was laying in bed, about 10:30 at night, and I was pretty sure she had gone to bed and was laying pretty close to me. My mind filled with the fantasy of her sitting on my bed, jerking me off, then getting this really perverse, cruel look in her eyes and stopping just when I started to cum.
And I stopped myself, ruining another orgasm, thinking of Katie all the time. Fuck, it was the weirdest thing in the word because on the one hand I had just fucked up a perfectly good cum, but on the other hand I wanted Katie to do that to me soooo bad. I mean, wtf? But it was true. Katie cutting me off and controlling me, stopping my orgasm at the most frustrating time was exactly what I wanted.
Around 11:30 I masturbated again, this time thinking about her taking me in her mouth, and I spewed semen all over my stomach. Fuck that was a good cum.
The whole idea of a beautiful woman exerting control over me and my body, deciding when I can cum and how, it is just more detail in this fantasy I have had, that I was talking about in the last blog entry. Ever since I was in high school, I think. It started I think when I was taking an archery class and the teacher was one of the girl's PE teachers, and she was a bit of a jock and ordered us guys around quite a bit; well she was also a total hottie. I remember fantasizing a couple times about her catching me in the locker room and making me do some humiliating stuff, like masturbate in the showers while she watched.
Those were the first fantasies I had about dominant women.
I have to get to the point of what I am trying to write about here. One of the things I have seen in porn is all these guys whose girls force them to wear chastity devices. Well, I've played with some pain and ass fucking myself with a dildo, and I thought, hey-- what is stopping me from trying on a chastity device, too? I might hate it, and then I can take it off, you know? I've never been with a girl that would ever get off on locking me up and I feel kind of silly doing it, but... well, I am just playing with my fantasies, you know?
I mean, really... it's silly when you think of it. Jacking off to the idea of not being able to jack off. But that's what I did the other night when I thought of this idea. And after I jacked off (and cleaned up the mess which went all over the sheets), I got online, searched for one that looked good but wasn't too expensive, and ordered it.
The device came in the mail today. It was suuuucchh a coincidence, because Katie was getting her mail at the same time, about 6pm this evening. I pulled out this box from the mail and knew exactly what it was. I blushed heavily, and thank goodness the box was unmarked or I would have melted from humiliation. Katie looked over and grinned.
"I love getting packages," she said. "What did you get?"
I'm terrible at thinking fast. "Uhm... it's... an engagement ring being returned from my ex."
Fucking terrible story. But it sorta worked because she turned to me, all sympathetic. "Awww... Len. Len, I didn't know you had a breakup. That's terrible."
"It's OK," I managed to get out. "It's been a few months, and I am over it. More or less."
"Well, if you ever need to talk to someone, let me know. I know how hard a breakup can be." She was being nice and sympathetic and we had a real conversation for the first time. We talked for almost ten minutes and I went back to my condo with a rock hard woody. I push my cock down my pants leg so erections aren't too obvious (I get a lot of them) so I hope she didn't see anything.
It didn't take long to rip the plain brown wrapper into shreds and pull out the chastity device.
The chastity device was fascinating. I had measured myself before hand and gotten one the right size, which is necessary. My flaccid penis size is apparently large (based on the web site sizes) and after I tried on the thing I ordered, it was clear I would never have been able to use a smaller size. The head of my cock actually butts up against the end of the sheath.
It was unexpectedly difficult getting the thing on. Part of it was that I kept getting hard, and when erect there was no way I could shove myself in that sheath. And yeah, I was erect after talking with Katie. So I masturbated. Twice. After the second time I was limp and wasn't getting hard right away and managed to get my cock in the thing. It took some tugging and coaxing and perhaps most importantly, a bit of lube.
Once my cock was in the sheath, the rest was easy, just fitting the parts together around the base of my cock and scrotum. Those parts really closed in and locked tight, pushing against the flesh. At first I worried if they would cut off circulation, but after wearing it for an hour, it seemed OK.
But I felt it, like, all the time. The thing was covering and squeezing my cock constantly. My balls were pressed out in a bulb in front of the back bracket, and my cock was held in a small tube and angled down in a curve. I started to get hard after a bit and it tightened up, like... really tight. Yikes. This thing was designed to not allow erections. But the tightening up sort of stimulated me and made it even worse. It didn't hurt but it sure wasn't comfortable, the flesh of my cock bulging out from the slits and openings of the sheath. I had to do things to distract myself to get rid of the erection.
The padlock I had for it was too big. When I put my pants on it bulged. I have a bulge anyway, but the lock protruded with a ridge which looked very unnatural, as if I had a square metal cock. Right.
So tonight I just experimented with it, getting the feel of the thing. Testing it to see that it would fit, whether I could go out in public, whether I felt good about it or so silly I would throw my purchase away the first night.
It was reasonable, and mental exciting in some indefinable way. I wore it for a couple of hours, went out to a fast food place and ordered a burger, went home, removed it and masturbated twice.
The cums tonight after taking the thing off were intense, just like the cums I have had when I tried pain. The pain seems to heighten my senses in general, to make them more intense, and the relief of getting the cock lock off and the idea that I had worn it in public got me so horny I fucked my hand and came twice in a half hour.
Now I am a little obsessed with trying it out for a longer time. The thought of having the device in my hand while Katie was there gave me an idea-- I want to put it on, go to work, and try to catch her when we get home. The idea of standing and talking with her while I am wearing a chastity device is exciting me no end. Like, I need to masturbate again.
But I need a smaller lock. One that won't bulge. Tomorrow, on my way to work. Then maybe put the thing on while at work.
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